TFP White Energon : Invisible Scar With Visible Pain
by AriaChronos
Summary: Giving something up requires greater struggle. A dark, but complicated moment. Can be treated as a parallel happening between episode 4 and 8. Read my other stories first to understand the content.


_"Man alone is born crying, lives complaining, and dies disappointed"_

* * *

It was a cloudy day across the United States.

"According to weather cast, it will be raining heavily the whole day," said Raf when he watched the TV.

"Oh well, indoors where's dry," commented Jack dryly.

Miko also sighed heavily to the gloomy weather. Rain was good, but not too much fun. Suddenly, they all heard a yell and they spun around to see it. Ultra Magnus was in middle of scolding Aria, who never broke her habit of oversleeping every now and then. And it already went for more than 15 minutes, much to the girl's dismay.

"Allow me to make myself clear once again. Even if you are Optimus Prime's daughter, you are included in the combat, as such you fall under my command and my protocol," Ultra Magnus explained, "Right now you are free from duty for medical reason. But protocol and discipline will remain to anyone without question. Right now I won't give you any penalty due to your condition. Next time, if you happen not to be on time once again, I am not going to let it slide. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir, fully," Aria answered lazily.

"Good, dismissed," Ultra Magnus dismissed as he walked away.

"Whew," Aria sighed in relief as it was over, then she was approached by Ratchet.

"It seems that there's no need for me to give you additional lecture?" asked Ratchet. Before Ultra Magnus came, Ratchet was usually the one who lectured Aria.

"No, no need," Aria shook her head vigorously. She looked back to make sure Magnus was away, then said, "You used to give me an earful, but he gave me more than just earful! Jeez, even father won't be that mean to me. Besides, I just slept in for one hour extra!"

"You really should break that habit, Aria," Arcee piped in, "It's for your own good."

"I know ma'am. It's not like I will sleep through Decepticon attack anyway," Aria shrugged, "Where's father?"

"Out since the morning for meeting with the Generals," replied Ratchet, "I guess he'll be back in one hour or so."

Aria merely nodded, it wasn't so surprising for Optimus to leave the base at regular basis. As she was still off duty, she had pretty much free time for the whole day. Seeing nothing else to do, she walked to the couch area to join the three other kids.

"I know what you feel Aria," Miko said, as she leaned closer and whispered, "That shoulder patch is a jerk."

"Ow, not that far, Miko," Aria said.

"So, how's your arm?" asked Jack.

"Well, it's moving, as you can see," Aria demonstrated as she moved her right arm, "I can join the field duty anytime soon."

Aria's arm was improving, but still far from 100% recovery. But at the very least, she could play video games with it. Half an hour later, Optimus finally came home. He was first greeted by Ultra Magnus to discuss few things, then he finally was able to greet his daughter.

"Aria, how is your day?" asked Optimus.

"Ah, father," Aria paused her games and greeted, "Well, not the nice one. It's cloudy as you can see."

"Ultra Magnus informed me that you were late this morning," said Optimus.

"Oh dang, he told you that?!" Aria moaned.

"And requested me to remind you," Optimus said, but not in warning tone, "Be on time from tomorrow on."

"Yes sir," Aria replied with a giggle.

Optimus sighed, he could never be too harsh with his daughter. Not that he was a spoiling father, but Aria's bad habit never escalated to dangerous level. The Prime then was called by Ratchet to discuss other things. All the Autobots were present inside the base, waiting for their next schedules or ringing alarm. It was pretty much quiet and normal day, until Fowler came in.

"Prime, I want to thank you for all your contribution," Fowler said, "I apologize if any of the Generals caused you some discomfort."

"The honor is mine, Agent Fowler," said Optimus.

"That aside, I'm here for another thing. Can I speak with your girl?" Fowler asked.

"I'm here," Aria called, "What's the matter, Agent Fowler?"

Fowler climbed the stairs to the couch area, "I have some news for you, and you'd better listen carefully. Still remember Benjamin Yoshida?"

"Oh," Aria merely nodded. Uninterested, she turned back to the game, "What about him?"

"...He passed away," Fowler hesitantly told.

_CLANK_

The ponytail dropped the console game. She slowly turned to the Agent with shock and confusion in her eyes. Not only her, but also the three kids and the Autobots were baffled. Especially Optimus. The base suddenly turned silent and the atmosphere was heavy. Ultra Magnus, Smokescreen and Wheeljack were confused upon the others' weird reaction to the news.

They all never expected it to happen.

"...How?" Aria finally managed to speak after long silence.

"Heart attack, last night. Apparently he had quite a history with heart disease, which got worse since half a year ago. Since...you-know-what day,"Fowler replied. "His burial will be commencing soon, today, that is. In Goodsprings Cemetery Nevada, and the ones to attend are..."

Aria didn't pay any attention to what Fowler was saying, because everything just fell deaf in her ears. She was having hard time swallowing the news. The girl could feel all eyes and optics were at her, but she had no bearings to face anybody, even Optimus. So, Aria leapt off the platform, and ran as fast as she could to outside base. She didn't want anybody to see her in that state.

"Aria, you cannot leave the base without..." Ultra Magnus shouted, but he was held back by Optimus, "Sir...?"

"Let her be," Optimus replied, when he looked at the direction his daughter took off.

Aria had complicated history with her biological father. However twisted it might be, Optimus knew she just received another tragedy.

* * *

Aria was heading to the secluded corner in the military base, to find peace for herself. The weather was getting cloudier, but she didn't care. She set herself on top of oil drums, and recollected everything. Her mind went into very complicated state. Aria still remembered her first and last encounter with her biological father, who was responsible for her condition, and the death of Arianna.

And she clearly remembered on how it turned out.

_"IF ONLY YOU DIDN'T DO THAT STUPID EXPERIMENT ON ME, ALL OF THESE WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!"_

_"Reality is cruel, but in the end we have to accept it. You too have to accept, that you have lost me."_

Reality is the cruel one. It would always remind her that she is Benjamin's daughter. As such, completely cutting ties with him would be impossible. She still hates him to this day. And Aria got good reason to hate him that much. She found it disgusting to think that she could still be bothered by his death. Even after his death, he still wouldn't leave Aria alone completely.

The ponytail was at loss what to do. That was when her adoptive father came to her. Aria stared to Optimus' eyes, but she got no words to say. Optimus didn't speak out any words as well, he knew that the girl didn't need words. So, he merely transformed to truck mode, and opened his door. Being relieved that she was not alone, Aria stood up and hopped inside Optimus' cabin. Then, they drove out from the military complex, to somewhere quiet. Optimus waited to Aria to say the first word, until then he would remain quiet.

For that reason alone, Aria was glad that Optimus came to her life and became her father. Optimus would always provide company for her, but still respected her privacy. Still, Aria didn't know of what to say. She was still in shock, confusion...and little bit of regret, which she continuously denied.

"Father..." Aria finally spoke after long silence, "If I say this, will you hate me?"

Optimus lowered down his speed. Aria's hands began to shake as she was about to say the next.

"I...to be honest, I...kinda wanted this to happen..." Aria whispered with low tone, "I wanted him to die, badly. Ever since I knew he was the one who...you know, I wished that I would forget him completely and not see him again for the rest of my life. I thought, wouldn't it be easier if he just die?"

Aria paused to calm her shaky self. Even after such devilish statement, Optimus still showed no reaction. He knew that his daughter wasn't evil from the start. It was her own past that made her that way. But the Prime knew Aria had no real evil inside her.

"And now, it happened..." Aria's voice was cracked, "I never expected this to happen. Now that I will not be able to see him...forever, for real…"

Insult, curse, remorse or regret, for what purpose those words were unclear.

"This is ridiculous, isn't it?" Aria gave a hopeless chuckle, "For that I've decided not to give a scrap, and move on with my life. Yet now...now I still hate him, but for some reason, it doesn't feel so right. In fact, it begins to hurt, in here," she placed her palm on her chest.

"That is normal, for we all, Autobots or humans, are creatures with emotion," Optimus finally answered, "If it hurts you, my dear, my advise would be only one. Let it go."

"But, I...I had already..." Aria stuttered nervously. She was still fighting the outburst of emotion inside her heart, because she still denied it.

"My dear Aria, moving on is important. But you have to know, that there is difference between giving up the past and torturing yourself," Optimus explained.

Aria just realized it, that between her and Benjamin were never really be over, "Yeah, you're right. Father, can I request something?"

"I will do anything just for you," Optimus replied immediately.

* * *

Aria requested Optimus for taking her to the cemetery where Benjamin was buried. Indeed, that afternoon a funeral was being held in Goodsprings Cemetery in Nevada. Aria and Optimus watched from far away as the coffin was being lowered to the grave. The funeral was attended by only few people. Aria recognized some to be Benjamin's fellow scientists, while others were strangers. The number of the people there indicated that Benjamin was known only to few. The scientist was being buried alongside his deceased wife.

Aria waited until the funeral ceremony was over. Then as all the people there left, Aria began to approach the graves, alone. She didn't carry flowers or even grieving tears. She stood in front of the tombstones, and stared at the graves of the couple.

_Benjamin Yoshida _

_19xx - 20xx_

_Elena Quinn Yoshida_

_19xx - 20xx_

_May their souls be guided by Christ and rest in peace alongside God_

Both of them were Aria's real parents, and they passed without any memories or grieving tears from their only daughter. Elena was dead even before she could see her daughter's face. Aria knew nothing about her mother, so she had no feelings for her. She couldn't help but question on why all of these happened to her. Then again, regret always came too late.

"Mom...and...dad," Aria whispered quietly, her voice was dark and shaky, "I...never expected to talk to you like this, nor that I ever wanted to come here, but..." she was speechless, "I...come here not to cry over your deaths. Dad, I come here to say something to you."

Benjamin was the one who made Aria's life hellish, and Aria knew she wouldn't forget that forever. But everything had their ends, no matter what.

"I...forgive you, dad," Aria whispered, "But not because I decide to forget of what you did to me. I just don't want to have any bitter feelings toward somebody who is already dead. Nor that I wish for you to live in my memories..."

_Although small part of me still wishes to choose differently..._

It was way too late to regain all the feelings she had left behind. Her parents were gone forever. No more to say, Aria turned away to leave. It was a short visit, but she wasn't there to cry. Just as she was walking away from the graves, she heard a voice of Benjamin.

_Thank you_

She turned around in reflex, only to find nothing there. Shrugging it off as nothing, she left for good, and headed to where Optimus parked. As Aria approached the red truck, it started to rain heavily. Optimus immediately popped his door open, so his daughter could get inside and shield from the wet rain.

But Aria didn't make any attempt to hop aboard. She let her body be attacked by the rainwater. She pressed her hands and head on Optimus' body, and started to cry. First, it was only a sob, then it turned into a loud wail. Her crying scream was swallowed by the thunderous sound of heavy rain. Optimus made no attempt to move, he just stayed still and let Aria to release all of her pain.

"_Why is this happening to me...?"_ Aria really hated herself for crying over the death of someone she hated. But she decided to just let everything out. She was no longer be able to love her parents, as well as hate them, anymore.

The stormy rain and thunders continued, completely disguised the existence of the two in middle of it. As if the sky was grieving along, yet completely oblivious to the painful scream from the scarred girl.

* * *

Night time came, when the two finally came back to base. Completely soaked from head to toe, Aria hopped down Optimus. Before they walked inside the base, Optimus splashed water out of his gears as he transformed to robot mode.

"Father, sorry for letting you be this wet," Aria apologized.

"No need," Optimus shrugged it.

After shaking himself from excess water, Optimus and Aria finally walked inside the base, to be greeted by anxious faces of everyone.

"What were you two doing until this late? By the Allspark, you're wet!" Ratchet gasped.

"Ultra Magnus, any significant activity during our absence?" Optimus asked his lieutenant.

"No sir, everything is fine, uh..." Ultra Magnus replied nervously. He walked closer to Aria, and, "Aria, maybe this is inappropriate but, I'm sorry for your loss..."

Ultra Magnus' words indicated than he, possibly Smokescreen and Wheeljack too, had been told about Aria's birth story. Aria knew that they would know soon or later though, so she wasn't too surprised.

"Deserves him right," Wheeljack said casually, "That human scrapped your first daughter, right chief?"

"SOLDIER!" Ultra Magnus snapped harshly, "Watch your words, this is your only warning!"

"Uh...I'm...sorry," the Wrecker apologized.

"What did you tell them?" Aria asked as she looked to Arcee.

"Well, we initially just gave the basic information, like who that man was," Arcee answered, "We just told them to ask the rest directly from you, but..."

"But then Miko blew up the rest," Jack added, making Miko threw a glare at him, so he added, "Accidentally."

Miko gave Aria an apologetic look, but the girl just shrugged it. There was no difference after all. Awkward silence, and then Aria let out a couple of long sighs.

"Uh...are we not supposed to know it?" Smokescreen asked nervously.

"It's alright," Aria merely said, "I'm...going to dry myself, okay?"

She walked pass the group. No one made attempt to follow her, because Aria clearly wanted alone time. They just glanced at her back. A very lonely back figure, that is. And they were worried on how Aria would deal with it. Even if Whites were fast healer, there were some things they couldn't heal in merely one night. And this one might not heal forever.

"In time like this, I wish I could do a little bit more..." Optimus sighed sadly.

"She will pull it through," Arcee reassured, "Someday, if not today or sooner."

The death of her human father had left another scar on Aria's spark. It hurt, but denying it was even more painful. No matter how painful it was, she couldn't turn back anymore. Because she already made the decision, and everything had happened.

Aria had no other choice but to live with the burden, for the rest of her life.

* * *

**Contributed to someone close to me whose father just passed away. Review please.**


End file.
